Sociology Saying NO to kids

Discussion in 'Sociology' started by JcMinJapan, Sep 5, 2004.

  1. JcMinJapan

    JcMinJapan Premium Member

    Here is a great article. It does seem that we are allowing kids to get what they want and when they want. My daughter is 6 and she wants everything. I do find it hard to say no. But, when I think of the toys that just sit there unused, I do find it easier.

     
  2. Cinderloft

    Cinderloft Premium Member

    Back in the day, kids (very young kids) would actually have to work and help out on the farm, chores, etc. I shall provide what is needed for my future kids up until they begin school. After that, if they want something, it will not be given to them. I will explain to them what half means, an easy concept. If they wish to earn half of something, I would be more than gracious enough to help with the other half. This really needs to be learned at an early age, or else bad patterns and routines take hold hard.

    C.
     
  3. pineappleupsidedown

    pineappleupsidedown Premium Member

    I agree with you Cinderloft. When i was younger my parents would either pay for half, or (like if i wanted a bike for school) offer to pay the minimum amount, and an upgrade would have to come out of my own pocket. Yeah i hated it when i couldnt afford that "super-cool video game that i just had to have", but it really taught me to appriciate money and to be aware of how much money i have. Credit card companies are going to love this next generation. That is unless of course they all declare themselves bankrupt(taking the easy way out).

    ---pineapple
     
  4. Cinderloft

    Cinderloft Premium Member

    Unfortunately this was not the practice instilled on me when I was young. I only had a few things growing up that I actually wanted (the majority of which being computer related) and most of them I paid for myself over time. I grew up as an only child in an upper-middle class family. Was the only grandchild for the longest time as well. I never asked for anything, but if I showed an interest in something and someone was around I would get it. It actually bothered me, and for the longest time I could not understand why. I felt aweful about how extravegantly I was treated and wondered why and how I deserved it. At times I even resented people who would get me gifts. I eventually learned how to somewhat feel good about it by playing upon my benefits in order to benefit my friends without them or family realizing. It doesnt justify the spoiling I recieved, but I felt a bit better knowing someone else was happy. Hopefully I pulled some decent lessons out of the whole thing and can pass them on to my progeny when the time comes.

    C.
     
  5. JcMinJapan

    JcMinJapan Premium Member

    When I was a kid, my parents were pretty strict about that stuff. I appreciated stuff when they gave it to me. I am instilling that in my daughter now. She is only 6 and when she looks at me with those little eyes and smiles, it is soooo hard to say no. But, I bite the bullet and say no. ha ha ha

    But, she is learning that slowly she will get stuff. Being 6 we make her do chores and other stuff to EARN her toy or thing she wants. Seems to be working good. But, there are so many kids now-a-days that are jsut pampered and given anything. It reflects in how they act with other kids.
     
  6. misspickle

    misspickle New Member

    I know people who get what they want when they want lol -it is very annoying.

    Im not neglacted but im not spoilt- i do alot of chores ( and dont get paid- but i dont want to get paid) and i dont get an allowence or anything- but it really doesnt bother me.

    It spoils people when they are spoilt!!

    I know how manipulative little girls can be... i used to be one lol- i know all the good tricks to try and get what i wanted ( they didnt seem to work on my mum lol- but worked on my grandparents lol).

    :cool:
     
  7. tablet

    tablet Premium Member

    In today society I don't think there's much you can do. No matter how hard you try to condition your kids, the media will always re-engineer their mind and thought. The only way to win this is throw away the TV and start spending more time with them, teach them. I think that's the only way.

    Saying "No" won't work because your kid have been engineer to get angry! they watch cartoon, you know what I'm talking about?
     
  8. JcMinJapan

    JcMinJapan Premium Member

    Actually, we rarely watch TV. I am not really into TV all that much. You are right, TV does give off alot of bad habits.
     
  9. Bleys

    Bleys Phoenix Takes Flight Staff Member

    I'm probably the worse offender here. I grew up so dirt poor - I never would have thought to ask my parents for something other than at birthdays or Christmas, I knew they didn't have it. So I have a tendency to overcompensate with my own kids. And boy can I justify it. Both my girls have their own computers - I tell myself it is better than watching TV. They do have chores and must keep up their grades - but I am a real marshmellow on this.

    Bad Bleys
     
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